Tubs’s fashion style would best be described as ‘minimalist’. He has a minimal wardrobe, makes minimal effort and has a minimal ‘care factor’ about both. He doesn’t care where his clothes come from, whether they’re hand-me-downs from my brother (ten years his junior), cast offs from friends, or bargains from the local ‘op shop’. If the shoe fits – he will wear it.
And wear it he does. He will wear clothes until the very threads that hold them together are yearning to be freed. It matters not how dirty, ill-fitting, unattractive or indeed, unclean, the item of clothing is. Tubs will wear it. I have thrown many of Tubs’s clothes away over the years. When the holes are so large that they can no longer be considered incidental to the item, but have morphed to the point of engulfing the article itself.
Tubs rarely shops for clothes, and when he does it is often in a rush, for a specific event, and for clothes that will only be worn once. However, when I buy his clothes (out of sheer desperation), he wears the clothes to death. I learnt many years ago not to spend too much money on his clothing, because he will likely stain or tear it within a matter of weeks. Instead, I wait for the good quality labels to go on sale – then I stock up. Once the fit is confirmed and the items are deemed ‘keepers’ (which is usually all of them – he is not remotely fussy), I cull the few remaining pieces in Tubs’s miniscule collection so that he has no choice but to adopt his new clothes.
I will never forget learning that a friend of Tubs has a wardrobe far larger than his wife’s wardrobe. This man, David, loves buying clothes and has numerous work suits and dozens and dozens of shirts. At that stage, Tubs had just one suit (he now has two, so things are improving), and five work shirts. I used to have to plead with the local dry cleaner to have said suit cleaned in record time, dreading the thought that Tubs would seize the opportunity to wear his ‘holy’ jeans to work instead!
Prior to speaking with David, I had incorrectly assumed that most men didn’t care about how they looked. I thought it was ‘normal’ to hang on to clothes until an ‘Act of God’ or an exasperated wife, separated you from them. My father is very proud of the fact that he still has the suits that he bought when he was in his early twenties. Once dad’s clothes are no longer socially acceptable, they become gardening, camping or ‘woodworking clothes’. He never throws clothing away and will wear things until they can literally be worn no more. And then they become rags; reincarnated for an equally purposeful afterlife. I understand now that my father and husband may not be typically representative of the male population.
I have also come to understand that it is not so much that Tubs doesn’t care about how he looks, but more that there are other things more important to him. He doesn’t consider hanging and folding clothes, meticulously ironing or hand washing clothes, trying on and purchasing clothes; to be time or energy well spent. And let’s face it, if you had someone prepared to do all of that for you – why would you do it yourself? (Just for the record, I don’t actually try his clothes on before buying them) Tubs will not clutter his life with clothes he doesn’t need. Clothes are there to serve a purpose, and his purpose is as uncomplicated as he is.
Sometimes, I wish I had the same approach to fashion and clothing as Tubs (it would certainly save me a lot of time and money). He doesn’t judge others by the way they dress, and doesn’t expect to be judged. He neither wishes to conform, nor seeks to offend or rebel with his manner of attire. Some may perceive Tubs’s relaxed attitude toward it all, as a lack of pride in his appearance, complacency or perhaps, inattention to detail. But if fashion is an outward expression of one’s true self, then Tubs is an enviably authentic person. I must try and remind myself of this sentiment the next time he wears holey jeans, a stained t-shirt and reef sandals, out to dinner.
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