Karmic Kindness

I was on a bit of a high at one point today.  Two clients had thanked me profusely for the work I’d done for them, one even went so far as to say that I’d been like a ‘breath of fresh air’.  Many jobs are thankless, whereas others are enormously rewarding. It is very rare for family lawyers to be thanked by anyone, let alone by clients who are going through the Family Court.  Family lawyers don’t win money for people, rarely achieve ‘happy endings’, and more often than not - enter the scene when clients are experiencing significant stress and emotional turmoil.  Needless to say, the ‘thanks’ caught me a little off guard, despite being the third time I have been thanked by a client in recent weeks. 

I can now recall a grand total of four ‘thanks’ in the twelve years since I was admitted to practice. Admittedly, I didn’t practice law for all of those twelve years, and the lack of ‘thanks’ may have had something to do with that! (I certainly wasn’t being ‘thanked’ for my mothering and general ‘housewifeliness’ at home either – there isn’t a more thankless, yet rewarding task)  Perhaps it is not a coincidence that the thanks are coming now. Perhaps I have earned my stripes, and am providing a more worthy service to my clients.  Whatever the reason, it struck me today just how validating, encouraging, and important it is to thank people for their efforts from time to time.  (It certainly makes them want to do more for you!)

I am not an overtly religious person, but I do believe strongly in a karmic force of sorts; what you put out into the universe, will be returned.  It may not be returned directly to you, it may come in an unexpected way, and perhaps even long after you have left the physical world. 

This belief was confirmed for me today as I delivered Charlotte to her music teacher’s house for her weekly lesson.  Charlotte’s teacher knew my mother-in-law, in what started out as a professional relationship, but later became a friendship.  My mother-in-law showed great kindness and empathy to this lady, at a time in her life when it was greatly needed, and appreciated.  We learned this only after Charlotte had commenced lessons with this teacher, who we located via referral from other students, and several years after my mother-in-law had passed away.

Charlotte was just one year old when my mother-in-law, her grandmother (‘Nonna’), died.  Charlotte never had the opportunity to know her Nonna, nor to appreciate Nonna’s immense musical talent.  However, Charlotte’s music teacher did get to know Nonna - and I can’t help but feel that the kindness and generosity Charlotte’s teacher extends to Charlotte – is her way of repaying my mother-in-law for the kindness shown to her all those years ago.   In this way, Charlotte is the beneficiary of her Nonna’s kindness, in an unexpected but entirely meaningful way – through the gift of music.

I love living in a relatively small community, where people readily support each other in times of hardship.  There exists an opportunity to make a tangible and lasting difference in a small community, as the sense of connectedness to the whole is very apparent.   The links in the chain are much closer together, and it is hard to ignore the fact that we are all in this together.  It is from this philosophy and deep sense of belief, that my commitment to what I perceive to be the weakest links in the chain, arises.  For me – those links are the children of conflicting, abusive or neglectful parents.   

I am determined to make a small difference, whether through my professional work, by agitating and advocating for more and better services, or by providing foster care to some of these children (we are due for approval as foster parents in the coming months).  I will do my part.  I have been privileged in my life, to receive a very good education.  Through my various personal and professional experiences, I also understand the damage that conflict has upon children.  I can use my experience and knowledge, to help people who have not been afforded the same opportunities.

I am not motivated by the prospect of personal reward, or for the karmic kindness which may ensue.  I pursue this course because it is simply what feels right to me.  I want to live in a world where people care about each other, both in their minds and in their actions. This may sound clichéd and idealistic, but I believe that as long as I am doing my bit, being part of the answer rather than part of the problem, then I will be true to my beliefs – and therefore, my heart.