Self Help

If I were to sit down with my heavily pregnant 24 year old self (noting I turned 25 five days before Abby was born), I would have quite a lot to say.  First, I would advise myself not to get too carried away on the gift-giving front.  Children are so spoiled these days and my house is filled with toys, books, clothing and knick-knacks belonging to my four daughters, and none of the girls seem overly attached to any of it.  There are precious few treasured items among the piles and we have long forgotten what belongs to whom.  It has taken me years to appreciate that less truly is more and I frequently feel utterly  overwhelmed by the sheer volume of ‘kid’s stuff’ which we have accumulated.  

That said, when purchasing items of lasting significance such as Christmas stockings, baby books and comfort toys, I would encourage myself to purchase more than required at the time.  I thought I was clever when purchasing two Christmas stockings at a Perth market, despite only having one child at the time.  Hindsight has taught me that I should have bought four.  Lulu has inherited the stocking I made during sewing at school, and Josie has the nasty free stocking that you get from the Magic Cave.  She has not objected yet, but give her time.

I would not sit in judgment of myself when I advise that it is not necessary (or hygienic) to keep your child’s first finger nail clippings or umbilical cord crust when it falls off (gross but true).  In my own defence - I would like to explain that there is intergenerational hoarding within my family and it is often difficult to know what you are supposed to keep.  I recently had to convince my mother that it was quite all right for her to throw away her complete set of baby teeth which her father had kept for over fifty years!

I would congratulate myself for always listening to my instincts when it comes to my children’s health.  I honestly believe that a mother knows best. Seeking a second opinion when the first came from your paediatrician father, was not always the easiest thing to do.   I would tell myself that I will become so attuned to the status quo of my children, that the slightest deviance giving rise to concern, is always worth investigating.  

I would tell myself not to worry that none of my friends are having children yet, or be envious that they are pursuing the careers they studied hard to obtain.  I would say that those things will still be there when your children are a little older and there really is no ‘right’ time to have children.

I would tell myself to enjoy the good times and be strong through the hard times because the greatest blessings usually come from the toughest of times.  I learnt this lesson early; my first child was the unplanned result of me consuming a teriyaki chicken roll from Subway from which I contracted severe Salmonella poisoning just two weeks prior to my wedding.  The symptoms of the poisoning in turn, caused contraceptive precautions to fail, whilst on our honeymoon and ultimately led to the arrival of our beautiful daughter some nine months later.

I am only 11 years into the journey of motherhood and have so much to learn.  I am grateful each and every day for my beautiful family and encourage everyone to delight in the smallest of joys and to remember that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. 

Abby and Charlotte’s matching market bought stockings on each end, the snowman was a school project of mine, and Josie has the plastic stocking from DJ’s.  It’s by far the biggest – so at least she has that going for her!